


Wishes and hopes

by skymoonlight



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28951233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skymoonlight/pseuds/skymoonlight
Summary: The thing about fear is that is an infinite feeling, there’s no point where you say ‘that’s it, this is the maximum of scariness I can feel'.Kun has been scared his whole life.He doesn't want to feel like that anymore.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26
Collections: Challenge #4 — Awaken The World





	Wishes and hopes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! This is my first time participating in this fest, happy reading! (hopefully it doesn't suck so much akjksd)

“Are you scared?”

Ten was sitting on Kun’s bed, looking distractly at their shared wardrobe while throwing a size-changing ball of fire from one hand to the other, just to do something. Kun could see he was nervous, he always did that when he needed something to put his mind on, to stop thinking for a moment. 

_ Scared _ . Kun knew that words like the palm of his hand, living under his skin for so long he almost had forgotten the meaning of it, now just another part of himself.

He was scared of a lot of things.

☆

The first time he felt scared was when he was 7; he was playing with a stray cat in the park — an unusual activity his mother insisted was a requirement for him to comply with at least once a week, taking a break from his scheduled homeschooling — when he saw another kid falling from the seesaw, her mother running immediately after her to see if she was fine.

It was weird, the woman had a tone in her voice and a warmth in her eyes Kun was unfamiliar with. The girl didn’t stop crying until her father came and started swinging her in the air, making little airplane sounds until the tears became giggles and the girl calmed down. No long after that, a man selling ice cream passed by and the girl ran after him, the parents laughing while chasing their child and satisfying her sweet tooth.

The image kept repeating over and over in Kun’s mind all the way home. Was it normal? Do parents treat their childs like that? 

Kun’s parents were never like that with him.

They didn’t treat him badly, they just... did what parents needed to do; they fed him, clothed him, educated him and made sure he was healthy. Sure, they never hugged him nor kissed him goodnight, his favorite food — or favorite anything, if he was being honest — was a useless information for his parents, worthless of their interest, and Kun knew that if he had a nightmare, or was scared at night, he had to deal with it by himself. But that was normal, right? It didn’t mean anything.

Or … maybe he was doing something wrong?

Maybe there was something wrong with him? 

☆

For Kun’s 10th birthday, he knew that he was right, there was something wrong with him. Turning that age meant he was old enough to take The Test. With panic in his eyes and, praying to whatever entity could hear him, he saw how a woman in white sat him in a chair, connected some wires to his head and injected an orange substance in his arm. After a few minutes passed by, the screen showed an image of his brain, a little part of it shining like a highlight, dictating his future. He was doomed.

That same day Kun had to leave his house, a pat on his shoulder the only farewell his parents gave him; heading to an enormous boarding school too far from home to locate it on a map, an empty room becoming the only place to hide himself.

It took a few weeks, but Kun was becoming familiar with the place, the same route from his room, to his classes — in which he preferred not to talk to anyone. It was safer that way. — to the tasteless food they served in the cafeteria, to the library to borrow some books and then again to his room. New habits. A routine. They gave him a sense of continuity, if he always did the same, nothing new, nothing that made him go out of his sacred schedule, his status quo will stay untouched, no more changes. Not for now, hopefully. 

Kun was too naive to hope for things to stay the same.

☆

It was by the end of february when Kun came back from his classes and found another kid sitting on the extra bed he had in his room. Black hair, long, but not enough to cover his cat-like eyes, sitting with his legs folded while trying to hide his puffy face in them, shaking from the sobs he failed to suppress.

_ Great _ .

Kun knew he was going to get a new roommate at some point, everyone had at least one, it was one of the rules from the school. That way, if your potential gets activated and the authorities of the school don’t get notified, the chances of someone snitching on you are higher. 

He just had hoped to have the room for himself for a little longer, maybe until his powers appeared and he could get rid of them, finally becoming a normal person and getting out of there.

But the boy was already there, and Kun had been in his exact position no more than 2 months ago, so he took one of the bottles of water he had hidden under his bed, a box of tissues he used every time he felt like crying — more instances that he’d like to admit — and stepped beside him, offering the items in slow and silent movements, like you would approach a scared kitty.

The boy took the tissues and blew his nose in silence, his eyes fixed in the blanket under him. After another minute passed, he picked up the bottle and took a few sips, notoriously calmer than when Kun had found him. A whispered ‘thank you’ left his lips at the end, and that was enough for Kun to know that it was time to proceed with the introductions; the sooner they’d start, the sooner they could get over it and back to live in each side of the room. 

“Hi, I’m Kun. I got here last month. You must be my new roommate, right?”

Slowly nodding, the boy lifted his head and locked eyes with Kun, shaking the politely hand extended in front of him. “Hi, I’m Ten.”

☆

The thing is, Kun was used to being alone, he enjoyed spending most of his time by his own, roaming through the internet as far as their school allowed him to, playing with the authorized games he had in his computer, and even playing with his digital piano when he felt bold — always with headphones connected, he wasn’t allowed to make sounds that could disturb another resident. But now he wasn’t alone, he had Ten living with him, and even though he assured himself that the cohabitation wasn’t more than a mere share of space, without needing interactions, after a year he found himself becoming closer and closer with his roommate.

Ten was, to his surprise, nothing like he had expected. He wasn’t shy, as his first impression had made him think, he just was scared, but once he saw that Kun wasn’t going to hurt him nor was an enemy he had to be afraid of, he was all over Kun.

He had a lot of stories to tell, and Kun was the only one there to listen. Unlike Kun, Ten had a sister, and she wasn’t born with any potential, so her personality and feelings remained the same her whole life. If Kun was being honest, it was painfully obvious for him how much of the love he had craved for years, Ten had been able to receive. His parents were like Kun’s, but his sister made up for the lack of affection. Ten told him how they made the most of the mandatory breaks they, as kids, had to take; he told Kun how she taught him to ride a bike, how to swim, how she put fluorescent stars in his ceiling when he told her he was afraid of darkness, how they waited for the first snow to go out and make a snowman, and how they made a tent in his room for his 9th birthday. 

He also told him how much his sister cried when his test resulted positive and he had to leave, his voice lowering as sadness took over the last words that came out of his mouth. It was in moments like this that Kun was reminded that Ten was just like him, a little boy afraid of what was coming for him, holding on his good memories for as long as he could keep them. 

And it was new for Kun to have someone, beside his parents, he cared about. It was a little terrifying, but Kun found himself laughing alongside Ten, looking for him in the cafeteria and missing him during the classes they didn’t share, and Kun decided that it was worth it, life was a mess and he was afraid of a lot of things, but having Ten by his side made him feel a little bit better, braver, like he had the right to feel okay sometimes. He didn’t have to think about it, Ten had already made his way to Kun’s heart.

  
  


☆

The thing about fear is that is an infinite feeling, it doesn’t have a limit, there’s no point where you say ‘that’s it, this is the the maximum of scariness I can feel, there’s nothing else beyond this’, because there’s always something else,  _ someone else _ that can make your levels of fear to go up.

Kun realized this when he turned 15, it was 00:00 am on a saturday and Ten was hugging him like a koala wishing him a happy birthday. When they pulled apart, Ten took something from under his bed and handed it to Kun with glossy eyes, expectating.

“What is this?” Kun took the tin in his hands and turned it over, trying to decipher what was its purpose. I looked like one of the cans of peas that were thrown in the trash after being served at lunch, with a perforated piece of aluminum foil taped on top of it.

“Come here and you’ll see.” Enthusiastically, Ten took his hand and pulled him on his bed, alongside him, while turning on the flashlight he had in his hand and placing it on the headboard with the can over it.

When Kun looked at the ceiling of their room, he saw a starry night projecting over them, shining brightly in the darkness of their room. In that moment he felt his heart melting, like being in a very vivid dream, because that was the most beautiful thing he had seen in ages since he was put in that damn school, and it was Ten, of course it had to be Ten, the one that had given him that sight.

Those stars represented all Kun wished to have, something beautiful, mesmerizing and bright, something that made his heart flutter and had the freedom to exist far, far away from where he was now. Something that was fake and he knew he could never have.

But he could dream, and now, for a moment, he could allow himself to feel, to let his heart be free, putting his worries aside. So when Ten looked at him with the lights reflecting on his eyes, asking him if he liked the gift, Kun just nodded and slowly but firmly made his way to the boys lips, giving him time to step away if he wanted — he didn’t.

It was short, gentle, a peck so soft that could barely be counted as one, but it was enough for both of them to feel warm, a bubbling joyness coming all the way up to their lips, bursting in giggles, arms around each other and hands intertwined.

Ten's hands fit perfectly in Kun's, they were soft and warm, feeling like a promise, an empty hope of something beautiful that was too good to be true. 

.

.

.

Ten's hands were  _ too _ warm.

Kun separated their palms and, dumbfounded, saw in front of him how little flames appeared out of nowhere, surrounding Ten's fingers, not causing him any harm, but being there, hot and flickering and  _ real. _

It wasn’t happening, this couldn't be real, because if it was, it meant that Ten's potential had awakened, therefore they were going to take him away. No, it had to be a nightmare.

Feeling dizzy, Kun stumbled through the room until reaching his computer, Ten's eyes wide open behind him, still shocked from the sudden flames. 

Kun didn't need to put his hands over his laptop for its screen to be lifted and turn itself on. And maybe it should’ve caught his attention, alongside with the lights on their room that didn’t stop flickering on and off, or their cellphones flying over their head, but his mind was too focused on Ten to care about anything else.

When the computer was on, Kun turned his attention back to it and, with just a touch on the keyboard, the school webpage showed up and Ten's ID got typed on the screen. It was useless, Kun knew it, but he needed to know if the chip in Ten’s neck had lit up, announcing his potencial’s awakening. It was a matter of time for someone to come and separate them forever. 

To his surprise, Ten's status was normal, like nothing had happened.

_ Maybe it was a glitch? Maybe some deity had taken mercy over them just this once? _

Ten’s yell brought him back from his thoughts, and, per his request, he looked up his own ID, a red signal beside his name blinking with all its might. A cold sweat ran down Kun’s spine and, out of instinct, his hand flew to the back of his neck, touching the skin that covered the chip implanted there.

_ Please stop blinking. _

_ Go back to normal. _

_ Please. _

_ Please. _

The red light went off right in front of his eyes, as if the chip? Software? Whatever it was, had listened to him.

Kun turned around and saw Ten looking at him in shock, like the one with flames in his hands was him instead of his roommate.  _ The flames!  _ Kun pushed him hurriedly to the bathroom and turned the shower on, the drops extinguishing the remnants of fire.

When they both were a bit calmer, they came back to the room and sat in front of each other, trying to understand what had just happened, but Kun was already thinking of something.

Maybe they could keep it a secret for a while.

Maybe there wasn't need for them to be separated.

At least, not for now.

☆

Now he was 18, and Ten was in front of him, asking if he was scared.

Instead of answering, Kun jumped into bed beside him, engulfing him in a tight hug — as he knew Ten liked it — resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Of course he was scared, tomorrow was the Final Trial, and all the students who were 18 up to date had to take it. Usually, when your potential shows up, they inject you with a serum made specifically for said power, taking away a big part of your memories and emotions with them. At the end, everyone who had had some potential will end up behaving like Kun’s parents, an emotionless puppet surrendered to whatever life the government had assigned them to. 

But the other option was worse. If you were 18 and your powers hadn’t awakened yet, they wouldn’t spare you any minute more of life. They’d give you one more chance, subjecting you to a bunch of tests to stimulate your senses, and if none of your reactions ended up with your potentials showing up, they’ll just inject you with a lethal substance, declaring you a threat to society.

Because the thing was, the more time you had your potentials — activated or not — the more dangerous you’d be considered for everyone — at least, that’s what the law said.

  
  


Kun had always done what he was told, but this time was different, he wasn’t going to lose Ten nor himself. His powers were a part of him, and he had learned to embrace them with pride instead of shame. That’s why, when a few weeks ago he was looking on internet for more information of people like him — technopaths, that’s what they were called — and a guy named Xiaojun popped up on his screen for a few seconds, telling him that there were more people like him, giving him a date and time to meet, Kun didn’t hesitate on taking the offer and started planning.

The day of the Final Trial, when everyone was sitting on their chairs, getting ready for the wires to be connected to their brains, Kun would make the light bulbs explode, overheating the computer to the point where some cables would set on fire, turning on the fire alarm. Ten, on the other side, would make the flames increase their volume until everyone had to get out of the center where the trials were taking place. The smoke would be so thick and dense — Ten had practiced a lot in their room, a rolled towel under their door so the smoke stayed inside; he could make the haze not to affect them, controlling every particle of it — that way, no one would be able to notice when they got out of there. A backpack with some clothes and food waiting for them on the back exit, already cleared up for them to escape.

Yes, the plan wasn’t perfect, and a lot of things could go wrong, but it was something they could look forward to, something real,  _ theirs _ . A dream they had the chance to make true.

  
  
  
  
  


“Yes, I’m scared” Kun whispered, afraid of jixing them just for saying it out loud. “But I have faith in us. We’ll make it, you’ll see.”

Ten’s eyes lit up with expectation and desire, the promise of freedom at the tip of his fingers.

An Kun decided that whatever the result of the next morning might be, there’s something that they could never take away from him, so he’ll hold onto it until the end.

Hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Just to clarify some things:
> 
> Kun's power: technopathy-> the ability to manipulate technology.
> 
> Ten's power: pyrokinesis-> psychic ability allowing a person to create and control fire with the mind.
> 
> And just if anyone's wondering if their plan worked, yes: it does. They end up joining Xiaojun's secret team of people who managed to stay alive with their powers.
> 
> ☆
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated
> 
> </3
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/fairieaurora)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/fairieaurora)


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